Sherry Dutra – Dutra Associates

Harnessing the Power of Focus: 3 Tips to Prepare for the New Year

November 28, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

This is the time of year where I like to take a pause and reflect on:

what went well,
what did I learn from, and
what do I want to create in the coming year

Where are you right now in the pursuit of your goals for this year? Where have you knocked it out of the park? Where has your progress lagged your expectations? What are your top priorities for the coming year?

In The Power of Focus, authored by Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt, the point is made that “the main reason that most people struggle professionally and personally is a lack of focus.” The book provides practical and easy to implement strategies to support you in creating and reaching your targets in all aspects of your life. No matter what stage of life you are in, being deliberate, persistent and focused will serve you in creating your future. Here are a few key tips from the book that will help you lay a foundation for harnessing your focus and get you ready for the coming year.

Focus: Laying Your Foundation

#1 – Develop Successful Habits
Habits are nothing more than behaviors that we engage in over and over again until we do them without thinking about them. Early on in life, most of us learned how to ride a bicycle. Remember how much there was to think about? We had to pedal, steer, watch out for traffic, keep our balance, use hand signals for a turn…so much to keep in mind. Yet, as we practiced those behaviors repeatedly, riding a bike became easier and easier to do until that day when we just got on the bike and pedaled away without a second thought.

We all have good habits and some not so good habits. Take stock of your behaviors that support you, such as getting 7 – 8 hours of sleep each night, eating healthy foods, or spending time with your family. Acknowledge yourself for your good habits and keep them going. Then, take stock of your not so good habits that are getting in your way, such as being late to meetings, doing your email while a colleague or associate is talking with you, or not exercising regularly. Prioritize which one you’d like to work on first and define the new habit that will replace it. Finally, take consistent action each day to install that new habit. Research indicates that it takes, on average, 66 days to form a new habit. The amount of time it takes for you is dependent on the habit’s complexity. Be patient and persistent and keep track of your progress. Before you know it, you’ll be ready to work on the next successful habit you’d like to take on.

#2 – Leverage Your Strengths
One of my teachers once shared a philosophy she had learned in her career and it has guided many of my own decisions. That philosophy is “if it’s not my genius, it’s not my job.” Too often, whether we work in a company or are running our own businesses, we get caught up in the day-to-day operations and administration and spend more time putting out fires, answering email, handling bookkeeping, and managing employee problems than doing what we most love. Focus the majority of your time each week doing the things that you do best and let others do what they do best. When you are using your strengths, you are far more likely to be engaged and energized. This puts you in the mindset that will allow you to do your best work.

Before you say, I can’t afford to hire someone. Think again. If you’re inside a company, you likely already have people who would be happy to take on some of the tasks that are draining your energy. If you own your own business, imagine how much your business could grow if you took back those hours that you’re spending doing things you don’t enjoy. That will more than pay for the bookkeeper, marketing consultant, or personal assistant who you hire full or part-time.

Remember, this is all about focus. If you are scattered in too many different directions, it’s impossible to get traction on your most important result.

#3 – Create Your Master Plan
Finally, to set a strong foundation for harnessing the power of focus, you must create your master plan. What is your vision for the future you want to create in the next year? Really give yourself some time and quiet space to play with this. Make this vision as all encompassing as possible and state each aspect of it as though it’s already happening, such as, “I am taking a month of vacation each year,” or “I am working with a collaborative team.” Include every aspect of your life, not just your work. This might include, your financial life, health and wellness, fun, relationships, personal development, contribution/volunteering, and anything else that is important to you.

Then, consider what milestones you will meet 6 months from now, then 3 months from now, 1 month from now, next week, and tomorrow to bring that vision to reality. Create goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable and time-based. I know we’ve all heard about SMART goals. Be honest though. How often have we all set goals that are a bit on the vague side?

Once you have that list of goals, ensure that you are taking one step toward your broader vision every day. Creating a habit (see tip #1) that ensures you are focused on chipping away at your goals each day will keep you inspired and moving in the direction of your desired destination.

Call to Action

As this year draws to a close, I invite you to pause and take the steps that will determine your success in the new year. If you’d like to dive more deeply into what focus can do for you, click the link for more information on The Power of Focus. Best wishes for a focused year.

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development, Career and Retirement Coach and Facilitator who believes we each have far more potential than we typically tap in to. She helps you learn how to step into your full potential so you can create consistent, optimal performance for yourself and your team with less stress and more enjoyment. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

Building A Truly Meaningful Retirement

October 25, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

A retirement coach began her workshop by holding up a $20 bill and asking the group, “Who would like to have this money?”

As audience members raised their hands, the coach said, “I’m going to give this money to one of you,” but then began to crumple the bill up. “Who still wants it?” she asked. All the hands remained in the air.

“Well,” she continued, “what if I do this?” She dropped the bill on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with her shoe. She picked up the bill, now crumpled and dirty, and asked again, “Anyone still want it?” All the hands went back into the air.

“So, why do you still want it?” she asked the audience. One participant responded, “Because it’s still worth $20.”

The coach continued, “That’s exactly it! This simple activity offers new and future retirees a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was never worth less than $20.”

“In retirement, losing the career identity you spent a lifetime creating, and facing new and unknown circumstances, can at times make you feel crumpled up or ground into the dirt. But work is what you do, not who you are. Therefore, leaving it all behind doesn’t affect your true value.”

In order to avoid feeling lost or broken-hearted in retirement, ask yourself:
•Who am I when I’m not at work?
•What aspects of work are going to be the most difficult for me to replace?
•If I was suddenly faced with a financial hardship or troubling medical condition, who would I turn to? Who would get the first phone call? Who has been there in the past?

The worth of our lives comes not from what we do or what we have, but in who we are!

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are always priceless … especially to those who love you for who you are and what you stand for.

It’s a simple reminder that a truly meaningful retirement is built by not only preparing financially, but also by planning for the mental and emotional aspects as well.

Key Tips for a Successful Career Conversation with Your Boss

September 25, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

Take Ownership for Your Career

No matter where you are in your career journey, it’s clear that many employees run into similar roadblocks. “How do I have an effective conversation with my boss about the next steps in my career? Will I come across as too pushy? What if I’m told I don’t have what it takes for the role I’d like to have?” Whether you are an intern looking to move into a full-time position, an individual contributor who’d love to become a supervisor, or a mid-level manager desiring an expanded role in leadership, the process is the same.

That process starts with a key principle that Jack Canfield shares in one of his many books, The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. Principle #1 states: Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life. In a nutshell, this principle is about taking ownership. It’s about recognizing and accepting that if your circumstances or experiences are not as you’d like them to be, that it’s up to you to do something about it. It means giving up on making excuses, blaming others, or listing all the reasons why you haven’t taken action in the past. Forget the past. You have from this day forward to make a different choice. As this principle relates to your career, own what you want and take responsibility for your career growth and development. No one cares more about your career than you.

Now that you’re in the driver’s seat, let’s take a look at some key tips to help you prepare for and conduct an effective career conversation.

Key Tips

Schedule an appointment with your boss. Find a good time on the calendar to schedule 30 minutes over a cup of coffee. Regardless of how much your boss has on his/her plate, they can find 30 minutes to talk with you. In your request, be sure to share what you want to discuss so they can be prepared and know what type of support you’re seeking.
Prepare for the conversation. Do your homework in advance. Find out as much as you can ahead of time about what your desired next step role requires. Take an inventory of your accomplishments, skills, and experience and match them up with what is required in the next role. Taking the initiative in this way demonstrates your professionalism and your commitment to growing your career.
Conduct the conversation. Share your goals with your boss. Discuss your thoughts on where you believe you’re ready and the gaps you need to fill. Ask for feedback. How ready does your boss see you? What specific skills and abilities will you need to develop? What opportunities exist for you to take on a special project or stretch assignment to gain those skills and abilities? Ask for what you want and be ready to commit to taking the necessary steps to get there.
Agree to next steps and schedule a follow-up meeting. Ensure that you wrap up the meeting with specific next steps to take to begin working toward your career goal. Ask for any support that you need from your boss. Draw up a specific one to two-year plan and schedule another time to meet to discuss and finalize your plan. Monitor your progress and continue to ask for feedback and guidance along the way.

Having a career conversation with your boss will help you clarify the next steps in your career and start the momentum toward achieving your goals. Remember, the ownership for your career is in your hands and reaching out to your boss for support and direction is a great beginning.

Time for a Career Change? 5 Sure Signs

August 20, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

Jan’s Story

Jan* was facing a dilemma. She had just turned 40 and had been with her current organization for over five years and was feeling discontented, frustrated, and stressed. At the request of her Vice President, Jan had laterally transferred about a year earlier to take on the challenge of a newly created management role. Though the function she would be managing was not her first choice of next steps, Jan felt that the opportunity would add positively to her resume and she accepted the position. After much hard work, late hours, and tight deadlines, the first major initiative in this role was successfully completed. Awesome, right? Well, though pleased with the results, Jan recognized that she didn’t enjoy the work, dreaded the end of the weekend, and was feeling constant stress.

The company was in the process of several acquisitions. As each one came on board, Jan needed to roll out the same initiative to each acquired company. With each new project, Jan could feel her dissatisfaction growing. She knew she didn’t like her work and the company was having difficulties. Yet, the job paid well, the benefits were good, and it was close to home. Also, she enjoyed the people she worked with. Despite that, Jan struggled each day with whether she should look for a new opportunity or just stick it out.

Maybe this sounds like you. Or, your story of career dissatisfaction may have a different back story but the undeniable bottom line question is still the same – “should I stay or should I go?”

How do you decide whether it’s time for a career change?

5 Sure Signs

The money and benefits are the primary reason you’re still there.

We all have financial responsibilities and no one is suggesting that money and benefits aren’t important. However, we often talk ourselves into believing that moving into a position that fuels our passion and brings meaning to our lives will automatically pay less than our current role. Additionally, even if it does pay less initially, it’s likely that more money will follow when you are able to bring your best self to work that you love. And, if needed, I’ll bet there are some things you could adjust in your budget to accommodate bringing joy back into your life.

Your body is feeling the effects.

Even if your mind hasn’t caught up with the notion that you need to pursue something different, your body is likely giving you clues. Are you having trouble sleeping at night? Like Jan, do you experience anxiety as Sunday night approaches and you’re dreading the start of a new week? Have you noticed a significant gain or loss in your weight for no apparent reason? Do you find yourself feeling ill more frequently? Are you experiencing a constant feeling of stress or exhaustion? While there may be other reasons for these symptoms and seeing your doctor is highly recommended, many have to look no further than their job to find the source of their discomfort.

Something just feels like it’s missing.

Often, we fail to recognize that aligning our needs and values with our career is critical to a feeling of well-being. As we progress in our careers, it’s important to check in periodically and reflect on what’s most important to us. While many of our needs and values remain constant, some may evolve and shift as we move through various stages in our lives. What adjustments to your role, manager or environment might be able to be made to shift you back into alignment again? If this isn’t possible, it’s time to find a career or role that fits with who you are today.

You’re constantly complaining about your job.

We all have bad days even in the best of jobs. Yet, if you notice that your primary topic of conversation with your family and friends tends to be complaints about your work, it’s time to pay attention. What were you like when you were in a position that you really enjoyed? What would it take to reignite that part of you again? Who is the person you’d like to be?

You’ve lost your energy and drive.

If you find, that once in a great while, you experience moments of feeling a little bored or not overly excited about your work, that’s completely natural. Over time, there are very few jobs that keep you excited and energized every moment. If, on the other hand, you notice that you’re finding it difficult to get motivated about most anything, it may be time for a change. Find a place where you can use your strengths each day; where you are energized and inspired by the work and the people around you.

Your Call to Action

While there are certainly other signs that a career change might be in order, these are the ones that I’ve seen most frequently with clients. As the fall season approaches, it’s a great time to start thinking about what you want to create in the coming year so that you can hit the ground running in January. If you recognize any of the 5 signs in yourself, I invite you to step back and do some self-reflection. Discover where your passions lie, set a new direction, and take action toward a happier and more fulfilling career.

*Name and details changed to protect confidentiality.

Seven Principles of Extraordinary Results

July 23, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

Image Provided by ThoughtAction LLC

Are you consistently getting the business results that you desire? What if you had a model that easily conveyed how you create the results that you experience each day? What if you could gain insight into the patterns of your thinking and behavior that serve you as well as the patterns that do not? What possibilities might be open to you if you could learn to run your system rather than having it run you? The Results System™ allows you to gain these benefits by providing the framework, tools and solutions that raise the bar and drive results.

The Seven Principles of Extraordinary Results provide a simple introduction to the key concepts behind The Results System™.

Results First and Foremost:

What is the outcome that you desire to achieve? Start first with defining your end result and work backwards from there. You create what you focus on.

Goals are Not Results:

It’s important to make a distinction between a goal and a result. When you do not, you run the risk of limiting your choices and options. A “result” is the outcome you want to create. A “goal” is a target or milestone designed to achieve the result. For example, when you say, “I want to reach my sales target for the quarter,” you might think you are describing a result. In fact, this is actually a goal. The result is what you will have when you achieve your sales target, such as financial stability.

Choices Not Actions:

Choose your actions wisely. Often, you might feel you are making progress when you can check items off of a list. Yet, you may end up wasting time by leaping too quickly to action and completing tasks that are not fully aligned with creating the results you desire.

Invisibles Make the Difference:

Remember that everyone has blind spots and other factors that are not yet visible. Take time to become more self-aware to reveal the aspects that are operating behind the scenes. Doing so drives better choices and actions.

Silent Partners Make Predictable Patterns:

All humans have a unique and wonderful “operating system” that creates unconscious repeatable patterns of thinking and behavior. Having such a system allows you to motor throughout your life without having to consciously think about each step you need to take to complete daily tasks like getting ready in the morning or driving your car. Over time, these patterns of thinking and behavior become invisible and operate behind the scenes. In most cases, they serve you well. Yet, when you want to change in order to get a different result, these automatic patterns kick up a fuss. In order to dissuade you from changing, there are even three lines of defense to keep you from making a shift: remaining invisible, making change awkward, and telling us stories in our own voice that convince us that change would not be beneficial.

Change is a Process:

Any change that you set out to make has an emotional component to it. To create change that lasts we must deal with the inevitable feelings that will come up. While initially you might start off positively fired up about making the change and are certain you will be successful, the actual practice of creating new habits and permanently changing your behavior may cause you to swing from confidence to doubt to hope. When you experience this roller coaster, it may be enough to have you give up and go back to your old habits. Keep in mind that the emotions that arise are all a natural part of the change process. In knowing that, you can design strategies to manage the emotional ups and downs and achieve the result you want.

Use the System:

Take a systems based approach to creating your results. The Results System™ model helps you to reveal the visible and invisible factors that drive your ability to create results. Your Results System™ is unique to you. Even teams and organizations have a Results System™. Using the model will create greater self-awareness around the strengths and the detractors that impact your results and provide you with a means to make conscious choices and choose the actions that support the achievement of your key outcomes.

Call to Action

Are you willing to make changes to achieve the result you desire? If so, what action(s) are you willing to commit to in the next week to help you achieve this result by implementing the above principles into your life and work?
If you would like to learn more about how you can reveal your own Results System™ and develop strategies to create the results you desire, please reach out to me to discuss how this system can help you in all areas of your life.

Adapted from “Seven Principles of Extraordinary Results” by ThoughtAction, LLC, 2015. Adapted with permission.

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development and Career Coach and Facilitator who believes we each have far more potential than we typically tap in to. She helps you learn how to step into your full potential so you can create consistent, optimal performance for yourself and your team with less stress and more enjoyment. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

Ready or Not, Here It Comes…Your Retirement

July 3, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

Retirement, or what I prefer to call ReIgnitement™, requires planning. And, while many have focused attention on financial planning for retirement, few have considered the non-financial aspects of this life transition. Transitions of any type can create stress in your life, even if the change is something that you have been looking forward to. When that transition arrives, you can react to the changes that arise such as loss of identity, work relationships, or purpose. Or, by taking a planful approach, you can prepare yourself to respond effectively to the transition and ease the way.

In this third of a series of three blogs focused on retirement, I want to provide you with a simple tool to help you gauge your readiness for this transition. If you’re roughly 5 – 7 years from retirement, or know someone who is, please use this tool or share it with another to get a quick read on your readiness. If you’re already retired, you can use this tool to pinpoint those areas that might need some attention.

Click here for the Retirement Readiness Wheel. The 8 sections you’ll address include the following:

Clarity of Identity, Purpose
Health
Leisure/Travel
Home/Residence, Location
Marriage/Significant Other
Work/Business, Volunteering
Financial Resources
Optimism About Aging

As you review and rate each section, take a moment to determine what that section means to you. Then, to determine your readiness, circle your level of satisfaction with each of the 8 sections on a scale of 1 – 7 (1 = least satisfied, 7 = most satisfied). Go with the first response that comes to mind as you review each part of the wheel. That tends to be the one that is most indicative of the way you truly feel.

Once you’ve rated each section, draw a line connecting each of the numbers around the circle. What kind of wheel do you have? How smooth and balanced does it feel? How bumpy might a ride on that wheel be?

If you discover that one or more areas of your ReIgnitement™ could use some tweaking and you’re not sure where to begin, a coach can help. I invite you to explore my profile as well as those of my colleagues on the Retirement Coaches Association website to find a coach who is right for you. We help our clients think about and prepare for retirement like never before.

If you haven’t already downloaded the Retirement Readiness Wheel, click on the link to do so.

Is Your Organization Ready for This Seismic Shift?

May 24, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

On average, 10,000 of these events will happen per day in the United States through the year 2030. What are they?

According to the Insured Retirement Institute, 10,000 baby boomers (those born between 1946 and 1964) are expected to retire, on average, each day in the United States through 2030. This is excellent news for those getting ready to enter the next chapter of their lives and an opportunity for younger workers to step into new roles. Yet, what will be the impact of that lost knowledge and expertise on your organization?

Based on research conducted by the authors of Critical Knowledge Transfer, one company reported that in the next anticipated wave of nearly 700 retirements, they would experience a loss of 27,000 years of experience. If that’s not enough to have you sit up and take notice, I’m not sure what will. That said, not every vacated position is created equal. Some will certainly be easier to fill than others. Perhaps the appropriate level of expertise and skill is readily available on the job market or you have done the work to ensure that someone within your organization is ready to take on the role. Unfortunately, this is the exception rather than the rule.

Taking a Proactive Stanch – 4 Key Tips

Knowing the average age of your employee population is not enough. That still keeps the potential problem at hand difficult to define. Take a closer look at the specific roles held by long-term employees and seasoned managers who are within a few years of retirement age. Which positions require critical skills and experience that are not easy to find on the open market? Long term employees across and at all levels of the organization often hold critical, hands-on experience of how to get things done through their comprehensive knowledge of processes, company historical information, clients and customers. Without a proactive approach, your organization runs the risk of realizing, too late, that you have a critical skill shortage that is adversely impacting your business performance.
Consider implementing a mentoring program that effectively engages both older and younger workers in accelerating development and bridging the knowledge gap. Providing training for both mentors and mentees can help to ensure that a mutually beneficial mentoring relationship is created and both parties find the experience a valuable one.
Utilize knowledge capture methods to gather critical expertise and make it available across a wide range of people. There are many ways to store and manage institutional knowledge including online forums, podcasts, webinars, and videos, to name a few.
Pay attention to employee engagement. Younger members of the workforce have an average job stay of roughly four years. Ensure the right managers are in place who truly care about their employees’ success. Robin Reilly, a Senior Consultant at Gallup has written that such managers “seek to understand each person’s strengths and provide employees with every opportunity to use their strengths in their role. Great managers empower their employees, recognize and value their contributions, and actively seek their ideas and opinions.” Increasing employee engagement will assist in keeping younger workers from jumping ship.

The time has come to proactively address the seismic shift that has already begun in terms of talent shortages in the workplace. These are just a few of the tips that can help you to mitigate your risk. Don’t wait another day to identify where your organization is most vulnerable and take the steps now to ensure a smoother transition.

The Retirement Plans That Few Consider

April 23, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

Most people spend more time planning their annual vacation than they spend planning for the non-financial components of their retirement. Now that increased longevity has extended the lifespan of the average North American, people can anticipate living 20 – 30 years beyond the typical retirement age of 62 or 65. Since this is becoming known as a “second adulthood”, it deserves your time and attention to ensure that this time in your life is filled with meaning and purpose, health and well-being, and social engagement in addition to financial stability. It’s never too early to begin giving consideration to how you’d like to craft this part of your life. Here are three key tips I’d like to share that can help set you on the path to an easeful retirement transition.

Create a plan well in advance

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” It is an abrupt change from working full-time to having the expanse of 24 hours a day at your fingertips. Once the glow of an extended vacation wears off, you may find yourself clamoring to find another job, if you haven’t decided in advance how you’d like to spend your time. While working in some capacity may be a part of that plan, let that be a conscious choice rather than a reaction to feeling at loose ends. What would the perfect day or week look like for you in retirement? Creating some level of structure goes a long way toward staying engaged. Spend less time thinking about what you’re retiring from and more time considering what you’re retiring to.

Think holistically

Financial security is a critical factor in retirement preparedness. Yet, it is far from the only thing to take into consideration. As you create your plan, look at all aspects of your life. What is important to you? What are the values and beliefs that provide meaning in your life? How will you sustain your mental and physical capabilities? Where will there be opportunities for connection to others? What hobbies might you want to pursue? How will you continue your personal development? How important is it to you to give back in some way?

Communicate

Be sure to include your spouse or partner in your retirement planning. Do they work as well? When do you both want to be retired? What do you each want out of retirement? How can you work collaboratively to create a shared vision? What activities will you do together and where will you explore your interests on your own? How will you divide home related chores? How often will you see your children and grandchildren? What expectations do family members have of one another? Having these conversations in advance and getting on the same page will relieve a potential stressor down the road.

Be proactive and make this significant transition a rewarding and fulfilling next chapter in your life.

Transformational Presence Series: Part Four: The Four Levels of Engagement

March 15, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

In the final blog of this series on Transformational Presence, I’d like to share a model with you called the Four Levels of Engagement. The purpose behind this model is to bring awareness to how we ‘show up’ in relation to the daily events and circumstances we face in our personal and professional lives. This model is really just a description of what we’re all experiencing internally, all the time. When we work through this model, we’re choosing to slow down enough to see the inner workings of our level of engagement. We can take any situation or challenge and notice how we engage with it in a particular way.

To explain and demonstrate this model, let’s take a situation that we’ve likely all experienced at some point in our lives – a client or colleague who frequently is late for, misses or cancels meetings at the last minute. You are now faced with the fifth time in two months that this has occurred.

Drama

So, let’s step into the first level of engagement which is Drama. The initial internal dialogue might go something like this. “Are you kidding me?”, “What is he thinking?”, “I’m honoring the time on my calendar for him, why can’t he do the same?” That’s the level of engagement of Drama. So, I know none of you reading this EVER goes to that place of drama, right? But, I’ll admit, sometimes, I can go to a dramatic place. So Drama is an either/or, black or white, whose fault is it, type of space. It’s a criticism or a complaint. And then, after there has been time to vent, we might start to move into another level of engagement which is Situation.

Situation

Now, Situation sounds like this. “So, I’m going to need to address this. Let me sit down and prepare and I’ll go through the 5 steps to having a difficult conversation so I can take care of this.” Situation is about fixing the problem. It’s about getting it off my desk, moving on, getting it over with and getting it done. Often, for a while, these situational approaches will work, as has been pointed out earlier in this series. The problem-solving done here will likely lead to an okay result but one that typically isn’t sustainable for the long haul. So, when we run into the same situation again, we look for the next solution or drop back into Drama again and then shift back into Situation.

Choice

At some point, if we’re willing to go deeper, there’s a third option that shows up where we begin to notice there’s an invitation to ask the question, “Who do I want to be in this situation?” or “How do I want to show up?” Taking this deeper perspective breaks out of Drama and Situation into Choice, which is the next level of engagement. So, as we ask ourselves those questions, the answer in this circumstance might be, “I want to be a person who is both compassionate toward my client’s (or colleague’s) competing priorities and confident that we’ll reach a solution that works for both of us.” So that is who this situation is asking for the individual to be and that’s the individual’s choice to show up that way.

Opportunity

From Choice it’s rather easy to move into the 4^th level of engagement which is Opportunity. So, let’s take this same situation into Opportunity. What’s the hidden opportunity of the situation? What wants to happen or evolve out of this? So, as we step into opportunity, there is an opportunity here to evolve as a leader. A leader who not only demonstrates deep commitment and caring for clients or colleagues but also demonstrates the same level of caring and commitment to themselves. That is what wants to emerge.

Four Levels of Engagement Exercise

Now that you have a sense of each of these levels, you’re going to have a chance to play this game. It works best if you physically stand up and step into each of the different levels. If you remain seated, then simply choose a different spot on the floor or around the room to focus on for each level.

Bring to mind a challenging situation with a client, manager or colleague. It could be something current or from the past.

Choose a spot that represents Drama.
Step into the drama of your challenging situation. Close your eyes if you’d like. Really hear, in your mind, what’s happening.
Notice and ask yourself “What’s going on?”

Step back to a neutral spot and repeat the steps above replacing Drama with Situation, then repeat again with Choice, and finally, with Opportunity.

Four Levels of Engagement Debrief

What did you experience? Where has your level of engagement been in past interactions with this person?

What would be different if you approached the challenge from Choice and Opportunity?

How can you apply your awareness of the Four Levels of Engagement in your life and work starting today?

I invite you to share what you discover in the Comments section.

Summary

When we engage with the events and circumstances of life primarily from Drama and Situation, we spend our time primarily on struggle and problem-solving. It can be that feeling of putting out one fire after another. Ultimately, this can be exhausting. On the other hand, when we engage with life mostly from Choice and Opportunity, we step into a powerful place. We are no longer buffeted about by circumstances and choose how we want to respond and focus on the potential that wants to emerge. I invite you to apply the Four Levels of Engagement model in your own life and see what happens.

If you missed the earlier parts of this series, please click here for Navigating a Complex World, here for Part One – The Three Questions, here for Part Two – Becoming Mindful, and here for Part Three – Working with What Is.

For more information about Transformational Presence, please visit: www.transformationalpresence.org

Derived from: Seale, Alan. Transformational Presence: How To Make a Difference In a Rapidly Changing World and Transformational Presence: The Tools, Skills and Frameworks. Topsfield, MA: The Center for Transformational Presence, 2017. Used with permission.

Transformational Presence Series: Part Three: Working with What Is

February 23, 2018 By Sherry Dutra Leave a Comment

When was the last time you were faced with a difficult situation or circumstance at home or at work and the first thing that came to mind was “how can I fix this”? If you’re like most people, this has probably occurred more than once just in the past week. In fact, being a great problem-solver is encouraged, valued and what we are taught to do. Honestly, this is one of my own strengths and I have loved the satisfaction of “solving problems”. Yet, as discussed in previous posts, fixing the problem doesn’t tend to work for the long term. Often, the problem will arise again somewhere down the road. What if, as Alan Seale states, “a problem is not something to be solved; it’s a message to be listened to”?

Our role then would be to learn how to hear the message, discover what wants to unfold, and work in partnership with that potential to create something new. Quantum physics tells us that, at the most basic level, everything is made up of particles of moving, vibrating energy. Consequently, there is an energy that exists within any situation or circumstance. One of the fundamental principles of Transformational Presence is that “energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed”. Solving the problem typically doesn’t transform the energy and this is the reason that the same or similar problem reemerges.

When we are faced with what we would call a problem, we tend to “push against” it and often end up making it worse. When we “push against”, we focus on what’s not working and give more power to it, causing it to persist. If we accept whatever situation we are faced with and flow with it, rather than push against it, things start to get easier. “Flowing with” is about focusing on what wants to happen or emerge from the circumstance. It doesn’t mean we have to like what’s going on. It also doesn’t mean that we are acquiescing to it. We are just acknowledging what is happening right now and partnering with what wants to emerge to discover our next steps. Using the Three Fundamental Questions from Part One of this series will help you identify those next steps.

Taking this perspective is something that requires practice and continual reminders. I find that “pushing against” a circumstance is often my initial reaction. Yet, continued practice, allows me to step back, “flow with” and respond.

If you’d like to explore this concept of “push against/flow with” in relation to a challenge you are facing, please click below and I will walk you through an exercise so that you can experience it for yourself. I invite you to share what you discover in the Comments section.

If you missed the earlier parts of this series, please click here for Navigating a Complex World, here for Part One – The Three Questions and here for Part Two – Becoming Mindful.

For more information about Transformational Presence, please visit: www.transformationalpresence.org

Derived from: Seale, Alan. Transformational Presence: How To Make a Difference In a Rapidly Changing World and Transformational Presence: The Tools, Skills and Frameworks. Topsfield, MA: The Center for Transformational Presence, 2017. Used with permission.