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Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Skills to Create a Thriving Culture

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Think of the best manager you ever had during your career. What is it or was it about this person that made him or her so great?  When I reflect back on the person who comes to mind for me, what stands out was my manager’s ability to stay calm in difficult situations, to be supportive and encouraging – a person who saw the best in me, even when I couldn’t. This manager listened to my ideas, and those of others on the team, and always made us comfortable to speak up, even if we had differing views. Additionally, this manager never hesitated to share information so that we all had the opportunity to learn and grow.  No matter the situation, this manager had the capability to determine what was needed and address that need accordingly. Decades later, I still feel the positive impact of working for, what I learned later, was an emotionally intelligent leader.

EQ / IQ / Style

Much has been written about emotional intelligence over the years and many models of EQ exist. One of those models, brought to us by John Wiley and Sons, defines emotional intelligence as:

  • EQ: “the ability to read the emotional and interpersonal needs of a situation and respond appropriately…even if it’s difficult”.¹

Some organizations have embraced the concept of EQ and have actively helped their leaders to develop these skills. Such forward-thinking companies are finding that they are much better prepared to adapt and pivot quickly. Cultures are created where employees are engaged and motivated which significantly improves retention and positively impacts the bottom line. Unfortunately, for many organizations, developing leaders’ skills in this area has not been a high priority. Consequently, many leaders find themselves far outside their comfort zones when dealing with interpersonal issues in the workplace.

Data consistently shows the link between EQ and leadership effectiveness.² A leader’s ability to demonstrate the behaviors and mindsets of emotional intelligence is as important, if not more so, as their:

  • IQ: the skills, knowledge, and capability a leader possesses and the ability to apply that to problem-solve or meet goals, and
  • Behavioral style: how leaders approach their work and relationships.

A Solution

When it comes to leading yourself and others through the challenges being faced as we move through the pandemic, emotional intelligence skills are more critical than ever to cultivate. As leaders strive to rebuild businesses, show empathy to employees dealing with a myriad of stressors both inside and outside of work, manage their own cadre of emotions, make decisions during great ambiguity, and so on, there is a need to understand our emotional intelligence mindsets, leverage our strengths, and take action to improve the areas requiring more effort. Doing so will improve our ability to read situations and respond in a constructive way.

The good news is that there is now a program, Everything DiSC® Agile EQ™, that helps organizations and people adapt to whatever the future may hold, so that when it arrives, they are ready to meet the challenge. The power in the program lies in the combination of practical application and personalized learning. Each participant learns their likely EQ strengths based on their DiSC® behavioral style. Then, they receive specific feedback around their EQ opportunities with actionable recommendations to learn methods to stretch outside their comfort zone as circumstances may require.

Tips to Start Building EQ

Here are a few key tips³ to begin enhancing emotional intelligence. Some of these may be easier for you than others. With practice, those that are more of a stretch will take less effort.

  • Take a breath to help you stay calm in high pressure moments.
  • Separate emotions from the facts to see situations more clearly.
  • Confront issues that may impact important standards and goals.
  • Assert your conviction about your opinions and ideas.
  • Take concrete steps to transform your ideas into reality.
  • Put aside time and energy to create and maintain relationships with others.
  • Listen for what is not being said in interactions and use inquiry to draw out and understand the other person’s perspective.
  • Stay open to other’s ideas and be willing to compromise or even set aside your own preferences for the good of the team or a colleague.

Take Action

Dutra Associates, LLC is now offering Everything DiSC® Agile EQ. If you want to develop the leaders and teams who will be nimble and agile in facing challenges, both now and in the future, please contact me to discuss your organization’s needs. Both the assessment and subsequent training to deepen the learning can be conducted virtually to support remote workers. We also can support you and your team with virtual individual and group coaching to help support the development and application of emotionally intelligent mindsets.

 

¹ Agility Unlocked | Revealing the Connection Between Agility and Emotional Intelligence, John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 2020

² John Wiley and Sons, Inc. 2020 Agile Organization Survey Results; The Impact of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership on Talent Retention, Discretionary Effort and Employment Brand, Benjamin R. Palmer and Gilles Gignac, Vol. 44 NO. 1 2012, pp 9-18 © Emerald Group Publishing Limited, ISSN 0019-7858 | INDUSTRIAL AND COMMERCIAL TRAINING

³ Agility Unlocked | Revealing the Connection Between Agility and Emotional Intelligence, John Wiley and Sons, Inc., 2020

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development, Career and Retirement Coach and Facilitator who works with corporate leaders in small to mid-size businesses, across the span of their careers. She helps them to accelerate business outcomes and team performance, navigate their own career path, and transition to retirement with ease using proven methodologies and strategies that get results. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

Navigating the Emotional Roller Coaster of Change Transitions

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“Who are you?” said the Caterpillar…
“I – I hardly know, Sir, just at present,” Alice replied rather shyly, “at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.”

Lewis Carroll
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland¹

What have you felt since COVID-19 impacted nearly every corner of our world and every aspect of our lives? Have there been days when you’ve felt a bit like Alice – changing multiple times throughout the day? I know I have.

Over the last couple of months, we have experienced change unlike any other we’ve been exposed to in our lifetime. To successfully navigate through this time as a leader, you must take a step back to recognize and acknowledge the full impact of the changes raining down upon us. Then, choose how you wish to respond and manage the impact on you as well as on your team. In other words, logic and action alone aren’t enough to save the day. We must pay attention to the emotional roller coaster that accompanies all change, particularly the drastic changes we are currently facing.

Bridges’ Transition Model

Many researchers have explored and written about change and its’ effect on people. What they have all discovered are patterns in how we react and respond to change that are quite consistent across the human experience. The model that I have used most extensively with leaders is William Bridges’ 3 Stage Transition Model consisting of Endings – Neutral Zone – New Beginnings.

Change vs Transition

Before we look at each of the stages, let’s make a distinction between change and transition. What tends to create the challenge for us isn’t the change itself but the process of adjusting to it and moving from the old reality to the new. You see, change is external, situational, and often out of our control. In this case, the COVID-19 pandemic is the external change. The internal emotional and psychological process we go through to come to terms with the change is the transition. Consequently, we must turn our attention to the transition process. It is within this process that we will find what we can control – our response.

Endings

In Bridge’s model the first phase is Endings. This phase begins with the external event and our realization that the change is really happening. So, think back to when you first learned about COVID-19. Then, consider what occurred when it first hit your country. Then, your local area. Then, perhaps you or someone you know. At what point did you realize that we truly had a pandemic on our hands? When did you find yourself moving from the known to the unknown? This is when your Endings phase began. You likely experienced any number of emotions including denial, anger, fear, anxiety, grief, frustration or depression. Cycling between these emotions is common as well (e.g. anger one moment, fear the next). You may still be experiencing them.

Keep in mind that your colleagues and team members were and are experiencing their own emotions. What can you do to support those around you during this stage and help them to let go of the way things were?

  • Acknowledge and validate the emotions that others are experiencing
  • Articulate what is actually coming to an end. Determine what might be lost as a result of the change and what might stay the same
  • Communicate, communicate, communicate

Neutral Zone

The Neutral Zone represents the phase of transition where we have started to let go of the old way of being but haven’t yet found our footing in a new reality. Typical emotions that arise during this phase include uncertainty, confusion, overwhelm or frustration. While there is a lack of a solid foundation in this phase, we do begin to experiment with new possibilities. Using our COVID-19 example again, you might find yourself feeling a bit numb, overtired, struggling to get used to working from home, or overwhelmed by suddenly becoming your children’s teacher. Yet, you’re also beginning to realize that what you are feeling is natural – that you are not alone. As you move through this phase, you gain perspective and more effectively cope with uncertainty which allows you to begin to see possibilities for taking positive action.

Everyone moves through this phase at a different pace. Don’t try to rush it. As a leader, you can support others by:

  • Continuing to listen and communicate
  • Trying new things
  • Encouraging the progress that people are making
  • Giving yourself and others time to process

Beginnings

The final stage of the model is New Beginnings. This phase is marked by acceptance of the change and a renewed sense of energy that propels action. When we have successfully moved into the New Beginning, we have embraced the new reality and started to experience solid ground again. In our example, our teams will have adjusted to a new way of working, established a new structure to their day, and found a new rhythm. Creative ways of contributing to the team begin to emerge along with new ways of doing business. During this phase, emotions shift in a more positive direction. You might be feeling excitement, optimism, and a greater sense of motivation.

What can you do to support people in this stage?

  • Set an intention for how you choose to move forward
  • Encourage others to continue taking small steps each day
  • Stay focused on solutions versus problems
  • Proactively offer and ask for support from others

Conclusion

Viewing transition in terms of William Bridges’ three stages helps you understand that the needs, challenges and opportunities presented by change can be managed as a progression of responses. Your ability to understand this and apply it to yourself as well as to help your team transition during change will go a long way to making any type of change you deal with less daunting.

Where are you in the process of change?  Where is your team? What might you do today to accept where you and others are in the process and to navigate your way successfully through the massive change we are experiencing?

  1. Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. New York: Signet Books, 1960, 47.

Reference:
Bridges, William. Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, 2nd Edition. Boston, MA: Da Capo Press, 2004.

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development, Career and Retirement Coach and Facilitator who works with corporate leaders in small to mid-size businesses, across the span of their careers. She helps them to accelerate business outcomes and team performance, navigate their own career path, and transition to retirement with ease using proven methodologies and strategies that get results. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

Leaders and Emotional Intelligence

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Emotions don’t belong in the workplace – or do they? Depends on who you ask! Effective leaders understand that emotions can’t be left at the office door. Let’s explore how successful leaders are aware of their own and others’ emotions, how they express their emotions, and how they manage or control them in the work environment.

Awareness, expression, and management of emotion are the three main aspects of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to distinguish, understand, and have an awareness of how thoughts and feelings connect with outward displays and behaviors, as well as the ability to manage and express appropriate emotions and help others do the same.

Let’s look at each of the core components of EI and see how they are expressed in exceptional leaders.

Awareness
Leaders who are strong in this aspect are not only aware of their and other’s emotions, but they’re able to step back and recognize that their emotions are not automatic (emotions arise from interpretations). They also look for clues in their emotions, asking questions such as “Why did I have this response, and what can I learn from this?”

Expression
Successful leaders understand that emotions are a part of each of us, and that they can’t be “turned off” at will. They know how to appropriately express their emotions, at the appropriate time. By sharing, acknowledging, and validating, they create an environment in which their co-workers and staff feel valued and understood.

Management
Effectiveness in this area is demonstrated by leaders’ ability to manage their own moods and to help other people shift to more positive moods. They also are able to control their own emotions, even during stressful situations. They respond, instead of react, and their generally calm attitude promotes a positive work environment.

Emotional intelligence is directly related to interpersonal effectiveness. The higher your emotional intelligence, the more effective leader and communicator you will be.  If you’d like to learn more about how you might develop and implement strategies to improve your emotional intelligence, please contact us for more information. https://dutraassociates.com//contact/