responsibility – Dutra Associates

In the final blog of this series on Transformational Presence, I’d like to share a model with you called the Four Levels of Engagement. The purpose behind this model is to bring awareness to how we ‘show up’ in relation to the daily events and circumstances we face in our personal and professional lives. This model is really just a description of what we’re all experiencing internally, all the time. When we work through this model, we’re choosing to slow down enough to see the inner workings of our level of engagement. We can take any situation or challenge and notice how we engage with it in a particular way.

To explain and demonstrate this model, let’s take a situation that we’ve likely all experienced at some point in our lives – a client or colleague who frequently is late for, misses or cancels meetings at the last minute. You are now faced with the fifth time in two months that this has occurred.

Drama

So, let’s step into the first level of engagement which is Drama. The initial internal dialogue might go something like this. “Are you kidding me?”, “What is he thinking?”, “I’m honoring the time on my calendar for him, why can’t he do the same?” That’s the level of engagement of Drama. So, I know none of you reading this EVER goes to that place of drama, right? But, I’ll admit, sometimes, I can go to a dramatic place. So Drama is an either/or, black or white, whose fault is it, type of space. It’s a criticism or a complaint. And then, after there has been time to vent, we might start to move into another level of engagement which is Situation.

Situation

Now, Situation sounds like this. “So, I’m going to need to address this. Let me sit down and prepare and I’ll go through the 5 steps to having a difficult conversation so I can take care of this.” Situation is about fixing the problem. It’s about getting it off my desk, moving on, getting it over with and getting it done. Often, for a while, these situational approaches will work, as has been pointed out earlier in this series. The problem-solving done here will likely lead to an okay result but one that typically isn’t sustainable for the long haul. So, when we run into the same situation again, we look for the next solution or drop back into Drama again and then shift back into Situation.

Choice

At some point, if we’re willing to go deeper, there’s a third option that shows up where we begin to notice there’s an invitation to ask the question, “Who do I want to be in this situation?” or “How do I want to show up?” Taking this deeper perspective breaks out of Drama and Situation into Choice, which is the next level of engagement. So, as we ask ourselves those questions, the answer in this circumstance might be, “I want to be a person who is both compassionate toward my client’s (or colleague’s) competing priorities and confident that we’ll reach a solution that works for both of us.” So that is who this situation is asking for the individual to be and that’s the individual’s choice to show up that way.

Opportunity

From Choice it’s rather easy to move into the 4^th level of engagement which is Opportunity. So, let’s take this same situation into Opportunity. What’s the hidden opportunity of the situation? What wants to happen or evolve out of this? So, as we step into opportunity, there is an opportunity here to evolve as a leader. A leader who not only demonstrates deep commitment and caring for clients or colleagues but also demonstrates the same level of caring and commitment to themselves. That is what wants to emerge.

Four Levels of Engagement Exercise

Now that you have a sense of each of these levels, you’re going to have a chance to play this game. It works best if you physically stand up and step into each of the different levels. If you remain seated, then simply choose a different spot on the floor or around the room to focus on for each level.

Bring to mind a challenging situation with a client, manager or colleague. It could be something current or from the past.

Choose a spot that represents Drama.
Step into the drama of your challenging situation. Close your eyes if you’d like. Really hear, in your mind, what’s happening.
Notice and ask yourself “What’s going on?”

Step back to a neutral spot and repeat the steps above replacing Drama with Situation, then repeat again with Choice, and finally, with Opportunity.

Four Levels of Engagement Debrief

What did you experience? Where has your level of engagement been in past interactions with this person?

What would be different if you approached the challenge from Choice and Opportunity?

How can you apply your awareness of the Four Levels of Engagement in your life and work starting today?

I invite you to share what you discover in the Comments section.

Summary

When we engage with the events and circumstances of life primarily from Drama and Situation, we spend our time primarily on struggle and problem-solving. It can be that feeling of putting out one fire after another. Ultimately, this can be exhausting. On the other hand, when we engage with life mostly from Choice and Opportunity, we step into a powerful place. We are no longer buffeted about by circumstances and choose how we want to respond and focus on the potential that wants to emerge. I invite you to apply the Four Levels of Engagement model in your own life and see what happens.

If you missed the earlier parts of this series, please click here for Navigating a Complex World, here for Part One – The Three Questions, here for Part Two – Becoming Mindful, and here for Part Three – Working with What Is.

For more information about Transformational Presence, please visit: www.transformationalpresence.org

Derived from: Seale, Alan. Transformational Presence: How To Make a Difference In a Rapidly Changing World and Transformational Presence: The Tools, Skills and Frameworks. Topsfield, MA: The Center for Transformational Presence, 2017. Used with permission.

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development and Career Coach and Facilitator who believes we each have far more potential than we typically tap in to. She helps you learn how to step into your full potential so you can create consistent, optimal performance for yourself and your team with less stress and more enjoyment. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” ~ Jim Rohn

When was the last time you complained about a person or a situation? When have you had anything turn out differently than you wanted, either at work or at home, and you found yourself blaming someone else for the outcome? Come on, be honest. I know I’ve done it and still catch myself doing it. It’s likely that you have blamed or complained at one time or another. It’s a common response and one that most of us learned as a part of growing up. Yet, how would your success in life be enhanced if you took full responsibility for your results?

The Power of Choice

In every moment, you have a choice. Recognizing that you are always at choice and that you are responsible for your results leads to personal empowerment. Think about it. If you believe that your results are in the hands of external circumstances, then you give away your power to create what you want in every aspect of your life, including your work as a leader. While studying Jack Canfield’s Success Principles, I chose to develop an on-going practice of incorporating the principles into my life. Principle #1 – Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life – sets the foundation. Understanding this principle intellectually and fully embracing it are two different things. I am still a work in progress on this myself and I continue to integrate it a bit more each day.

A Leader’s Story

Here’s a simple example of not taking full responsibility. John was asked to take on a new, exciting project. In order to free up the time to devote to the new assignment, he delegated another important project to Tom, a member of his team. Tom is experienced and has the skills needed to handle the project. So, John spends a minimal amount of time outlining the project and expects that Tom has what he needs. Three weeks later, John gets a phone call from a very unhappy customer who is checking in on the delegated project and wants to know why they haven’t received the agreed to deliverable. The customer, who highly values dependability, tells John that they are going to seek a new vendor for future projects.

The Responsibility Formula

Many years ago, Dr. Robert Resnick introduced Jack Canfield to a simple formula that illustrates 100% responsibility remarkably well. The formula is E + R = O or Event + Response = Outcome. Let’s look at this example through the lens of E + R = O.

In this situation:
E = John had an opportunity to take on an exciting new project which required a delegation of something else on his plate to free up time.

R = John selected an experienced person, Tom, to take on the delegation and spent a small amount of time passing the project over.

O = An important deadline was missed and the company lost future business with the client.

Clearly, John wasn’t happy with the outcome. He has two choices when he encounters an outcome he doesn’t like:

He can blame the event (E) for his lack of results (O). So, in this example, he could blame his boss for the timing of the new project that caused him to have to delegate in the first place. He could blame Tom for not delivering on the delegated project. Perhaps he finds a way to blame the economy, the weather, his dog, etc. You get the picture. There are many influences that can impact results or outcomes but if those influences determined success, then no one experiencing them would succeed. Yet, there are countless examples of those who experienced similar circumstances and were successful. So, the event itself does not lead directly to a particular outcome.
John could change his response (R) to the event (E) until he reaches his desired outcome (O). In the future, for instance, John could take a more deliberate approach to delegating an assignment. He could set clear expectations and ensure alignment, build in periodic check-ins, work together to develop a plan of action, ask Tom where he feels he needs support, etc. In any situation, John can control his response. So when the choices you make don’t lead to the results you want, you can seek to understand what occurred. Then, you can determine what steps to take to get back on track versus blaming or complaining. Also, as events occur, you can proactively determine the outcome you’d like to achieve and respond accordingly.

Call to Action

While this principle may be easy to understand, it is not easy to implement. It’s an on-going journey of paying attention to the results you’re producing and what responses have led to those results. Ask yourself:

What did I do or not do that led to that result?
What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?

Since taking 100% responsibility can feel rather daunting, start with 5% more. Ask yourself, if I were to take 5% more responsibility for my leadership effectiveness, I would… and jot down your answers. Then, put an action plan in place to follow through on your commitment. Over time, this will naturally become a part of who you are.

Join me in the practice of integrating this core principle into your life and watch your results.

About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development and Career Coach and Facilitator who helps you create consistent, optimal performance using all your capacity and potential in both your work and life. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.

Transformational Presence Series: Part Four: The Four Levels of Engagement

Do You Take Responsibility?: True Leadership Starts with This