When was the last time you were faced with a difficult situation or circumstance at home or at work and the first thing that came to mind was “how can I fix this”? If you’re like most people, this has probably occurred more than once just in the past week. In fact, being a great problem-solver is encouraged, valued and what we are taught to do. Honestly, this is one of my own strengths and I have loved the satisfaction of “solving problems”. Yet, as discussed in previous posts, fixing the problem doesn’t tend to work for the long term. Often, the problem will arise again somewhere down the road. What if, as Alan Seale states, “a problem is not something to be solved; it’s a message to be listened to”?
Our role then would be to learn how to hear the message, discover what wants to unfold, and work in partnership with that potential to create something new. Quantum physics tells us that, at the most basic level, everything is made up of particles of moving, vibrating energy. Consequently, there is an energy that exists within any situation or circumstance. One of the fundamental principles of Transformational Presence is that “energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed”. Solving the problem typically doesn’t transform the energy and this is the reason that the same or similar problem reemerges.
When we are faced with what we would call a problem, we tend to “push against” it and often end up making it worse. When we “push against”, we focus on what’s not working and give more power to it, causing it to persist. If we accept whatever situation we are faced with and flow with it, rather than push against it, things start to get easier. “Flowing with” is about focusing on what wants to happen or emerge from the circumstance. It doesn’t mean we have to like what’s going on. It also doesn’t mean that we are acquiescing to it. We are just acknowledging what is happening right now and partnering with what wants to emerge to discover our next steps. Using the Three Fundamental Questions from Part One of this series will help you identify those next steps.
Taking this perspective is something that requires practice and continual reminders. I find that “pushing against” a circumstance is often my initial reaction. Yet, continued practice, allows me to step back, “flow with” and respond.
If you’d like to explore this concept of “push against/flow with” in relation to a challenge you are facing, please click below and I will walk you through an exercise so that you can experience it for yourself. I invite you to share what you discover in the Comments section.
If you missed the earlier parts of this series, please click here for Navigating a Complex World, here for Part One – The Three Questions and here for Part Two – Becoming Mindful.
For more information about Transformational Presence, please visit: www.transformationalpresence.org
Derived from: Seale, Alan. Transformational Presence: How To Make a Difference In a Rapidly Changing World and Transformational Presence: The Tools, Skills and Frameworks. Topsfield, MA: The Center for Transformational Presence, 2017. Used with permission.
About the Author: Sherry Dutra is a Talent Development and Career Coach and Facilitator who believes we each have far more potential than we typically tap in to. She helps you learn how to step into your full potential so you can create consistent, optimal performance for yourself and your team with less stress and more enjoyment. If you would like to uncover and address hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success, leverage your strengths, and accelerate your progress toward the results you desire, contact Sherry for a complimentary consultation.